Red Sonja (2009)

In 2009 Hollywood will take another stab at bringing S&S character Red Sonja to the screen, this time portrayed by Rose McGowan. My expectations are really low, so director Aarniokoski (Highlander: End Game) will really have to dredge up some pure crap for me to be more disappointed than I expect to be. Actually, making a decent film that revolves around such a 2D character is a tall order for any director. The best I can hope for is a camp-happy romp with some decent special effects and quality set designs. If this movie tanks and thereby kills the possibility of other Sword & Sorcery properties making it to the big screen again — like, oh say, Conan in 2010 — I’ll be miffed.

Some background on the character
Sonja first appeared in the pages of Conan the Barbarian, Marvel’s comic book adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s prehistoric hero. She was created by CtB writer Roy Thomas and artist Barry Windsor Smith, who very loosely based her on a Howard heroine named Red Sonya. Sonya (as opposed to Sonja) was not conceived as part of Conan’s Hyborian milieu. Essentially Thomas and Smith made off with the woman’s name and ran with it. While there’s certainly something Howardian to the character of Red Sonja, she’s not a Howard character and has no association with the Howard Library (which retains the rights to REH’s creative properties).

Artist Jim Steranko created Sonja’s now-infamous chainmail bikini. As far as protection goes her outfit is obviously useless. There’s no narrative explanation for it that I am aware of. Possibly because Conan was always running around the pages of CtB in what amounts to a fur Speedo, Steranko figured that Sonja should be his female counterpart visually. I suppose a little chainmail (actually it looks more like scalemail–Ed.) is slightly more practical than fur underwear.

Sonja’s deal is that she will only put out for the dude who can whoop her in combat. The math here is fairly simple: Nubile redhead in bikini with sword = comic book sales.